Tag Archives: weird news stories

Man gets stuck in a spanner [Weird News]

Flicking through the news earlier I came across the rather bizarre and uncomfortable story of a man who got a certain special part of himself stuck in a spanner.

The brave, curious, and highly stupid man went to A&E where they had to call the South Wales Fire Service to come and help him out, quite literally in this case.

Now I say brave because it takes a certain amount of courage to try such a thing, I say curious because it takes a special kind of inquisitive soul to look at a spanner and find new uses for it shall we say? And I say highly stupid because it is a bloody spanner, what did you think would happen if you stuck your dick in it? Who looks at a spanner and gets aroused?  “Oh my what a delightful spanner you have” he says with a lustful look in his eye.

It must be really awkward going to a hardware shop with this guy, he’d probably wander off leaving you looking all over the place for him before you find him stood in the tool aisle staring at the spanners.

Not wanting to miss out on some social media attention South Wales Fire Service took to Twitter because of course they did, companies and organisations love taking to Twitter to show how “cool” they are, to remind people: “If you’re using tools, make sure you’re handling as the manufacturer recommends.”

It’s good solid advice from South Wales Fire Service and one that will probably ensure that you don’t waste too much of their time. They do a very very important job. It’s a little sad that they have to remind people but sadly that’s the world we live in.

Of course we’ve missed out the obvious question, how big was the spanner?

On second thoughts I don’t want to know. I think we’ll leave it there.

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[Weird News] Are aliens upset about Brexit?

People are changing their names to ridiculous things

A record number of people in the UK are changing their names by Deed Poll to names after celebrities, football stars, cartoon characters, and things they like such as one man who changed his name to Bacon Double Cheeseburger. Continue reading People are changing their names to ridiculous things

Some more thoughts on the story of a guy throwing an alligator through a drive-through window

The other day I told you about the idiot who threw an alligator through a drive-through window because stupidity and, as always is the case after you publish something, I’ve had some more thoughts on it. Continue reading Some more thoughts on the story of a guy throwing an alligator through a drive-through window

Man charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after throwing a live alligator through a drive-through window

Wow what a headline and yes you did read that right, a man has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after he threw a live alligator through a drive-through window. Continue reading Man charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after throwing a live alligator through a drive-through window

British police have been told not rule out tip offs from ‘psychics, witches or clairvoyants’

British policing really is in a sorry state at the moment, first there was the news that they would only attend burglaries at even-numbered houses, now they are being told not to rule out tips from ‘psychics, witches or clairvoyants’.  Continue reading British police have been told not rule out tip offs from ‘psychics, witches or clairvoyants’

The top 50 things every ‘real’ man should allegedly ‘know’

In one of the national rags here in the UK was printed a list of the top 50 things that every ‘real’ man should know, which I takes it means if you are male and don’t know how to do all 50 you aren’t a ‘real’ man, which in turns surely means if you are female and you do know these things then you aren’t a ‘true’ woman either.

It’s a load of sexist nonsense, but a rather amusing list nonetheless, let’s see if I pass. Continue reading The top 50 things every ‘real’ man should allegedly ‘know’

Theme park bans single adults over fears they might be paedophiles

A theme park in Somerset has banned a 54-year-old man from entering the park by himself to watch a falconry display over a fear of paedophiles.

Yep you read that right. They basically said to the guy you can’t come in by yourself as that’s what paedophiles do, so that means you might be one.

The theme park – Puxton Park – said their policy is to not admit single men and women on child protection grounds. A single man or woman can enter only if they are accompanied by children.

So they are encouraging single people to steal children in order to get into theme parks and other attractions that may implement this stupid rule?

And they are assuming that paedophiles don’t work in pairs or groups. Not that I know how paedophiles operate or anything. But it does seem a bit naive to suggest that only single men or women are a danger to children.

We all want to protect children and makes things as safe and risk free as possible but does this policy really protect children? Isn’t that  meant to be the job of the parents or whoever is supervising them?

The danger with this policy is that it discriminates against single people and it sounds like the typical do-gooder, think of the children, sort of policy that could easily be rolled out nationwide across various areas.

Just think, no single men or women in museums to protect the children. No single men or women in cinema’s to protect the children. No single men or women in a shop to protect the children.

You may laugh at that but you just know that there is some idiot out there thinking about it.

I like going to museums but I have no child to accompany me and sometimes people are busy or not interested in the exhibit so I go by myself. What is so wrong with that?

If people are so worried about the risk of paedophiles – which I think is blown out of proportion in the media sometimes – then the parents should pay better attention to their kids or these places should improve their security.

The other thing that annoys me about this is that it assumes people are guilty until proven innocent. Although that’s modern life sadly.

As a bonus for you all here are some comments from Daily Mail readers on this story. My replies are in bold.

Sarah:

I agree with it actually, grown men on their own in theme parks, why would you want to go?

To go to the falconry show. It says so in the bloody story.

ShallowSall:

The welfare of children is paramount. Great idea.

Yes but does this really do that? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

GMH 500:

People without kids clearly do not understand that even one kid attacked is extremely bad, and for what? to see a bird show etc?

Not having kids means I don’t understand? I hate this kind of parent looking down on everyone without kids.

Toastville:

Would you rather a couple of single adults got a bit offended by this or a child was abused or murdered?

Wow this is a bit extreme isn’t? What about all the times there have been single adults and no child was abused or murdered? Should we just ignore that?

Capricorn:

I agree with the Park bosses. They’d be an outcry if anything did happen and this paper and its readers would be the first to complain

Yes but we don’t know it’s a single adult that caused it. Parents ignore the kid and let them run off, people turn a blind eye to a lost child etc,. Too many things to count.

And I bet many of you didn’t believe me when I said this sort of policy could spread…