Flicking through the news earlier I came across the rather bizarre and uncomfortable story of a man who got a certain special part of himself stuck in a spanner.
The brave, curious, and highly stupid man went to A&E where they had to call the South Wales Fire Service to come and help him out, quite literally in this case.
Now I say brave because it takes a certain amount of courage to try such a thing, I say curious because it takes a special kind of inquisitive soul to look at a spanner and find new uses for it shall we say? And I say highly stupid because it is a bloody spanner, what did you think would happen if you stuck your dick in it? Who looks at a spanner and gets aroused? “Oh my what a delightful spanner you have” he says with a lustful look in his eye.
It must be really awkward going to a hardware shop with this guy, he’d probably wander off leaving you looking all over the place for him before you find him stood in the tool aisle staring at the spanners.
Not wanting to miss out on some social media attention South Wales Fire Service took to Twitter because of course they did, companies and organisations love taking to Twitter to show how “cool” they are, to remind people: “If you’re using tools, make sure you’re handling as the manufacturer recommends.”
It’s good solid advice from South Wales Fire Service and one that will probably ensure that you don’t waste too much of their time. They do a very very important job. It’s a little sad that they have to remind people but sadly that’s the world we live in.
Of course we’ve missed out the obvious question, how big was the spanner?
On second thoughts I don’t want to know. I think we’ll leave it there.