OK calling it weird news might not cover this one but wow, what a headline! A Russian man has been arrested after he chopped off his friend’s penis with an axe after losing a penis-measuring competition.
The two men went on a two-day drinking session in some village in the Urals region of Russia because of course they did they are Russian, they know how to drink, and started arguing about the size of their cocks. Sure, yeah that totally makes sense. I mean I’ve never been there myself but I guess I’ve never been that drunk.
Sorry I’ve left an important detail out here, these aren’t guys in their 20’s or even 30’s, the winner (or is he now the loser?) is 47 while Mr Choppy is 52-years-old. You would think they know better.
So after losing the competition the man hit his friend over the head with an axe before going for his gentleman sausage. There’s no talk in the article about how much was chopped off or if they have been able to reattach it but Mr Choppy has been charge with inflicting a grave injury (too bloody right) and faces up to eight years in prison if convicted. That’s eight years in a Russian prison which is no cake walk.
This story raises oh so many questions. First these guys have apparently been friends since childhood, although I strongly doubt they are still friends, so why after all these years does this issue come up now? Or better still why did this issue come up at all? You can know your friends a little too well, there are things about even your closest friends that you don’t want to know.
Secondly was there a judge or someone to help run the competition. They had been on a two-day binge that is going to raise some difficulties as it were that might make things a bit difficult. Maybe the loser felt he was entitled to a do over as a result. There is a lot of that going around at the moment.
This is one of those stories so mad that you don’t think it can possibly be true yet real life is stranger than fiction and there are a lot of crazy people out there so who knows. All I know is I’m going to be careful who I drink with and I’m never going to enter a penis-measuring competition. Far too dangerous.