Joke of the day

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'” and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.” “Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?” St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. “What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple. Continue reading Joke of the day

Around the world with Dave – Stop 7

Welcome to around the world with your lovable and witty host, me, Dave. This is the place where I tell you all about the places around the world I hope to one day visit.

Our stop this week takes us to Cambodia and the largest religious monument in the world. Can you guess where it is? Continue reading Around the world with Dave – Stop 7

Joke of the day

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.” He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.” In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside.

The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me” The parrot replied, “Yes.” Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?”

The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús.”

Joke of the day

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, “Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don’t know the answer, you have to give me £5. And if you ask me a question and I can’t answer yours I will give you £5,000.”

The idiot says, “Okay.” The genius then asks, “How many continents are there in the world?” The idiot doesn’t know and hands over the £5.

The idiot says, “Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?” The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the £5000. The genius says, “Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?” The idiot hands over £5.

Today is World Meteorological Day

Today is World Meteorological Day, reminding us all about climate change and the effect it is having on the weather, at least it would have done had it not been for the events in Brussels this morning which are sure to dominate the news all day (and rightfully so).

I thought it was worth a mention what today was going to be though.

Joke of the day

Three guys are fishing when an angel appears.

The first guy says, “I’ve suffered from back pain for years. Can you help me?” The angel touches the man’s back, and he feels instant relief.

The second guy points to 
his thick glasses and begs for 
a cure for his poor eyesight. When the angel tosses the lenses into the lake, the man 
gains 20/20 vision. Continue reading Joke of the day

Around the world with Dave – Stop 6

Welcome to around the world with your lovable and witty host, me, Dave. This is the place where I tell you all about the places around the world I hope to one day visit.

Our stop this week takes us high into the mountains of Peru.  Can you guess where it is? Continue reading Around the world with Dave – Stop 6