OK I don’t really know how or where to start this or what the point of even writing this really is, I just want to write. Well type. Well blog. You know whatever you want to class this as. I just want to write.
It’s been a stressful week, hence the title and I don’t want to go into all the details mainly because I can’t. Let’s just say it’s a minor, well major, dispute with the local council who haven’t done their jobs properly. I know, shocking right? Council officials and bureaucrats not doing their jobs right? Never!
It is so fucking emotionally and physically draining. I can’t sleep at night and I can’t eat anything. All food looks unappetising. And here’s the big shocker, no alcohol!
It’s a nightmare. It’s constantly on my mind. Gnawing away at me. Even as I type this now I feel its burden weighing down on me. I just want it over.
So yeah that’s the reason why I haven’t really done much blogging recently. Or at least it feels like I haven’t. I certainly haven’t been in the mood or had the energy to write all the things I wanted to since it all started. I’ll start and then just lose any kind of motivation.
What really pisses me off most though is that I was just beginning to get into a flow, a rhythm, I had come up with ideas for features for each day that would have given me some focus, I got myself a new microphone so that I could start trying to make some videos again, I was going to try my hand at NaNoWriMo to finally get one of the novels I’ve got in stuck in my head finished, and then I just get thrown off course.
I am better than this! Obstacles fall in my way and I shrug them off and continue on like never fucking happened. I now fully understand and appreciate the saying ‘never let the bastards grind you down’. Well you know what? Fuck you. You aren’t grinding me down. I will rise up. I won’t let you beat me. I’ll keep going and I’m not going to let this eat away at me anymore. No no no. I’m done with the whole worrying and being drained crap. I’m taking back the things I enjoy.
You know what? I actually feel a lot better for writing this so I guess that makes it somewhat useful.