Dave’s log: Stressful Times

OK I don’t really know how or where to start this or what the point of even writing this really is, I just want to write. Well type. Well blog. You know whatever you want to class this as. I just want to write.

It’s been a stressful week, hence the title and I don’t want to go into all the details mainly because I can’t. Let’s just say it’s a minor, well major, dispute with the local council who haven’t done their jobs properly. I know, shocking right? Council officials and bureaucrats not doing their jobs right? Never!

It is so fucking emotionally and physically draining. I can’t sleep at night and I can’t eat anything. All food looks unappetising. And here’s the big shocker, no alcohol!

It’s a nightmare. It’s constantly on my mind. Gnawing away at me. Even as I type this now I feel its burden weighing down on me. I just want it over.

So yeah that’s the reason why I haven’t really done much blogging recently.  Or at least it feels like I haven’t. I certainly haven’t been in the mood or had the energy to write all the things I wanted to since it all started. I’ll start and then just lose any kind of motivation.

What really pisses me off most though is that I was just beginning to get into a flow, a rhythm, I had come up with ideas for features for each day that would have given me some focus, I got myself a new microphone so that I could start trying to make some videos again, I was going to try my hand at NaNoWriMo to finally get one of the novels I’ve got in stuck in my head finished, and then I just get thrown off course.

I am better than this! Obstacles fall in my way and I shrug them off and continue on like never fucking happened. I now fully understand and appreciate the saying ‘never let the bastards grind you down’. Well you know what? Fuck you. You aren’t grinding me down. I will rise up. I won’t let you beat me. I’ll keep going and I’m not going to let this eat away at me anymore. No no no. I’m done with the whole worrying and being drained crap. I’m taking back the things I enjoy.

You know what? I actually feel a lot better for writing this so I guess that makes it somewhat useful.

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8 thoughts on “Dave’s log: Stressful Times”

  1. I am not sure what to think about the alcohol.
    But stress is a bitch….of course, I learnt that the only way to deal with it is to feel through it *sigh*. And writing does help. I sincerely wish things get better for you.

  2. Don’t let them win, you’re better then them. I can’t go into specifics because you can’t write what the problem is but this is my two sense…

    Deep breathe (in through the nose, out through the mouth) because your body is producing a lot of adrenaline, and you need to get your levels down. Adrenaline in large doses is far from good for you.
    Get an app for stressing: I’d recommend Worry Time and At Ease (especially the latter, it’s brilliant) so you can help yourself with stress which is what you’re going through as opposed to anxiety (people get them mixed up all the time).
    I’d also recommend a sleep help app like Sleep Cycle (free) or Sleep Better. I have used all four of these apps so I can vouch for them personally.
    Keep writing about it. Most important as you found out, as it lets you get things off your chest without maiming someone at the council which will get you arrested which is not good.
    Exercise, even if it’s just a walk as physical tirdness will make you sleep.
    You’re right to not have alcohol by the way because it will wake you up. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Let us know if it’s resolved or not.

    Emily

    1. Thanks Emily. It’s annoying not being able to go into detail but until it’s resolved one or the other I don’t want to do anything to ruin things.
      I’ll look into those apps, I’ve never been a good sleeper anyway so anything that’ll aid with that is good in my book.
      And I’ll do my best to keep writing. It’s a nice distraction.

      1. I know exactly how you feel as I woke up about 3 months ago, and was so stressed I couldn’t sleep more than 2 hours max a night for over four weeks – I wanted to end myself I was so desparate!The old thing about hot milk actually helps as well, would you have a cup of horlicks?
        I look forward to reading the post when you can write about it, it should be a doozy.

      2. Hot milk has always sounded horrible to me but if it works I guess I’ll give it a go.
        That will probably be a very long post if and when I can write about it in full.

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