Welcome back to another edition of things that vex me, the place where we rant, rave, moan, groan, and complain about all the things, big or small, that vex us in life.
Last time it was the smell of cat food, this time it’s unpredictable weather because we’ve had a lot of it in the UK the last couple of weeks.
Every time I’m about to go out at the moment I end up playing a little game I call do I need my coat? I open the door and take a step outside, it’s nice and warm, the sun is shining, it’s not coat weather. I’ll be too hot if I wear my coat and will just end up having to carry it.
But all the weather forecasts say it is going to rain, and rain a lot today. Another quick check of the sky and there’s not a cloud in sight. I pick up my coat. I put it back down. I pick it up again. What to do what to do? And while I’m playing this little game I could have walked to the shop and back without any hassle.
Eventually I make up my mind. I’m not taking my coat, there’s no clouds in sight and I’ll be too hot.
Then just as I pass the halfway point, as if it is the will of some malevolent being, dark clouds appear out of nowhere to drench me and I’m sure that somewhere there is a group of weather people muttering ‘we told you it was going to rain’. Yeah probably because you pricks summoned some sort of rain demon to make it so.
You’re halfway between the shop and home, what do you do? If you go home you’ve got drenched for nothing and you didn’t get anything you need from the shop or do you continue to the shop? You still need your shopping and it’s not like you can get any wetter.
Like any sensible human I decided to continue the shop, I still need to eat.
There I am plodding along in the rain in a t-shirt jumping over puddles, people in cars not even stopping to let me cross the road at crossings despite the fact they are nice and dry inside cars because heaven forbid they wait for even 30 seconds. Selfish bastards.
And then just as you reach the shop, the rain stops. The clouds disappear. The sun comes back out. And the weather people are sat somewhere looking rather smug with themselves while you are left to do your shopping soaked through causing you to leave a slippery trail behind you as you go.
But its meant to be like this all week so the next day when you decide to go out just as you start to repeat the coat game you remember what happened yesterday where you got caught out. Today you are determined not to get caught out, to not make the same mistake, today you take your coat.
Oh and would you look at that. No rain. Not a drop. Yep because you have your coat the malevolent rain demons have decided to leave you alone and go after some other people soul while you are left to roast alive in your coat that you have had to wear all day for no reason. The sun’s nice and all but I was told to expect rain.
Then there are the days where it rains for a bit, gets bored and lets the sun come out for a while to trick you into going into the garden and sitting at the table with pen and paper. Then just when you get into a flow with your writing and have stopped paying attention to the weather it sneaks up on you, drenching you and ruining everything you’ve written.
Make up your mind. Is it raining today or is it going to be sunny? Don’t do any of this stop start stop start nonsense. Don’t tease rain and then decide you have a shy bladder or something. What is it going to be? The weather should have to decide what it will be at 7am and then that is what it’ll be for the day.