British police are testing a scheme where they only attend burglaries at even-numbered houses

What a joke. Yes you did that read that headline right. A police force here in the UK are piloting a scheme that involves sending crime scene investigators to even-numbered houses only. The inmates truly are running the asylum.

What makes this story even worse is that it comes a week after the head of the National Police Chiefs’ Council, Sara Thornton, said that victims of burglary should no longer expect the police to come out to their homes.

Do the police even investigate crime anymore? They seem to spend a lot of their time now arresting people for saying mean horrible things online and “offending” people. Yeah heaven forbid people have an opinion or unapproved thought.

OK so what’s this scheme about? What’s the reason behind it? Why cost cutting of course. It’s a police force, er I mean police service, not a private business, we pay for it through our council tax. This sounds like some shitty service.

As part of the scheme they will only be sending crime scene investigators to analyse forensics and all that sorta stuff at a victim’s house if they live in an even-numbered house, so if you live in an odd-numbered house sorry. No CSI team for you.

Their claim is very few crime scenes in the past were found to contain any forensic evidence which led to very few suspects being identified as a result so fuck it, why bother? Just the sort of attitude I want from the police that.

They also claim that the scheme makes very little difference to the crime rate and public satisfaction. Well public satisfaction with the police in recent years has been pretty minimal since they have been doing a rather shit job, why would this scheme change that? We already think you are useless, this just confirms it.

This has to be one of the most counterproductive things ever surely? Just because the odds are low that you are going to find forensic evidence doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look. With this attitude and policy it is completely possible they will miss out on vital evidence which would allow someone to continue committing crimes. Good news for criminals, bad news for law abiding citizens.

They have said that if there is blood at an odd-numbered house they will attend or if the person is a vulnerable person they will go out and take a look but how do they decide that? Send out a form in the post for the person to fill in asking them a bunch of intrusive questions to see if they qualify? What if they don’t? Send out a letter saying sorry you don’t qualify under our criteria as a vulnerable person I suppose.

But surely now this scheme is known burglars will start targeting odd-numbered houses? That would be the smart thing to do. You are less likely to get caught that way.

That in turn will lower the price of odd-numbered houses because they are at a higher risk of crime and the price of even-numbered houses will go up because they get better police protection. People could lose a fortune because of this if the price of their property drops.

And it feels very very very wrong to deny 50 per cent of people a basic service just because of their house number. People constantly moan that their postcode shouldn’t affect the quality of education or health care they have access to, which is true, so why should it affect the quality of policing you receive?

Yes the constant budget cuts are hurting the police and making things harder for them. And yes there are many great police officers out there, apparently. But scheme’s and policies like this don’t help. They don’t help the image of the police service, they don’t give people confidence or faith in the police, they are counterproductive.

The other argument for this change is that the nature of crime is changing in this country. There are less burglaries and less car crime now but more cybercrime and terrorism related crime that the police need to focus on instead. Which is all true but none of that is very helpful or very reassuring if you are the victim of a burglary and it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be investigated thoroughly.

This is all badly thought out.

I think I did well to avoid making any “living on the wrong side of the tracks” references.


3 thoughts on “British police are testing a scheme where they only attend burglaries at even-numbered houses”

  1. I would imagine crime rates for burglaries of odd-numbered houses went up incredibly! This is like giving carte blanche to burglars, so long as they chose the correct house numbers. I’m curious about the house number of whomever first suggested this change. On the other hand, is this just a joke??? Is this a “The Onion” type post? If not, your government is getting as crazy as the U.S. government. Are they privately tutoring your leaders???

    1. Sadly it’s a serious thought. It’s one of those cases of life being stranger than fiction as it were. And yeah if you are a burglar your job just got a whole lot easier.
      I think the US and UK governments are secretly in a competition of who can be the more incompetent, that seems like the only way to explain the current state of affairs.

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