Welcome back to the place where I give you a run down of some of the weird and wonderful news stories that have caught my eye over the week.
There are several odd news stores that have caught my eye this week.
First up is the man who set fire to his house trying to kill a spider. I mean honestly how dumb can you be? He used a homemade blowtorch to kill a spider in his laundry and caused £35,000 worth of damage. I am speechless at this guys stupidity.
I mean my friend at uni tried to get rid of the extra fat in a frying by burning it off. Granted I did say to him to just burn it off, but I didn’t actually mean for him to do it. It’s impressive how quickly it can all go up in flames, good thing we had a fire blanket in the house.
Then there is the story about a Great White Shark that washed up on an Australian beach having choked to death on a sea lion. We’ve all had meals like that though haven’t we? We’ve all tried to bite of more than we can chew and had eyes bigger than our bellies. C’mon I had to work those two phrases in somehow didn’t I? I would be doing you a disservice if I didn’t.
It’s sad the shark has died but it is a mildly amusing way it has died. This is the first I’ve ever heard of a shark choking to death on its food. I mean it makes sense right? If it happens to us why wouldn’t it happen to other animals?
But my favourite story of the week is the story of a father who trekked across the Egyptian desert to claim a piece of land so he could make his daughter a princess.
Aww isn’t that nice? Complete bullshit though. You can’t just walk about claiming land like that. That is the kind of shit that starts wars. If his little “country” got invaded what kind of army does he have to protect it? I assume it is some kind of monarchy since his daughter is a princess, does that mean he’s made himself king?
If you read the story the bit of land he’s claimed is unclaimed because of decades of disputes between Egypt and Sudan. So basically these two nations are arguing over the land so neither side technically owns it at the moment and he’s just walked in planted a flag and gone “mine”.
Oh yeah did I mention it’s 800 square miles? He has just taken 800 square miles of Africa for himself. Well OK not for himself but for his daughter who wants to be a princess. Talk about spoiling your child.
What did she do walk into the room look at her father and say “Daddy I want to be a princess”. Did he just look back at her and go “OK just let me claim some land for you”. 800 fucking square miles of land.
Way to spoil your daughter mate.